FRENEMIES

As established in the previous post, communication is not all just about having a good command in language, communication is more than that. Nonverbal communications play a large role in relaying a message to the end-receiver, especially when interpersonal relationships are concerned. Verbal and/or nonverbal communications, whether or not, relayed directly to the subject, do send out vibes, that will ultimately be felt by the end-receiver.

I'll attempt to illustrate this in my following example.
Kindly put yourself/yourselves in my shoes.

You are part of a closely knitted group of girlfriends. You are so close that, sometimes, others refer you as the Spice Girls (fictitious). You are closest to Victoria since you have known her for the longest time and she has always been there for you. She would smile and forgive you even if you did something upsetting to the group.

You are at a party with the group. You turn your back to grab a drink and upon returning to the group, you notice Victoria whispering to and nudging the other girls. You think, perhaps, you are just too sensitive. You turn your back again to grab another and the same scenario unfolds. You bump into an old friend and do some catching up; you turn back to the group this time to find Victoria rolling her eyes at you and then, upon acknowledging your return, quickly reverts to a friendly face. The group proceeds to the dance floor. Seemingly, Victoria dances with middle-fingers directed at you.

Before this, you have heard from Melanie that Victoria pointed the finger at you in a recent happening. Melanie knew it could not have been you since you were the one who brought the matter up to her (since she would be the one affected), after witnessing what you thought Emma did. You have also heard that Victoria has been questioning others why ‘Mr. Her Crush for the Longest Time’ would compliment you on past meetings. According to your friend, this was accompanied by the famous American hand gesture.

You relate these happenings to the rest of the group. They empathise with how you feel. Emma points out that, she too, has been experiencing similar situations with Victoria. The rest of the group has gathered that it is unlikely that Victoria would explain why she is behaving this way. Victoria would sometimes tell them that they are just too many things; she doesn’t know what to begin with.

When you and she are alone, she is at all smiles with you. She would even be upset with you if she finds you at a club without informing her beforehand (note: often a last-minute decision under special circumstances). Even if you casually asked her if there was anything she would like to talk with you about, she would just smile and assure you that you are just being too sensitive. Are you? What should you do?

Insert: dated 30th August 2008, Saturday, 6.28pm
The characters involved came to know about this post. They have talked about it and have resolved the issue. The whole thing was concluded to be a snowball of accumulative misunderstandings from both parties. It is decided that increased sensitivity and transparency be adopted to prevent any future recurrences of situations akin to those experienced and described. Nevertheless, feel free to comment on how you might have had handled the situation. Perhaps, the characters involved could have resolved it in a way better than how they have managed.